The Happiness Project

Hap-pi-ness n. 1.good fortune: prosperity 2.a state of well-being and contentment: joy 3.a pleasurable satisfaction

While perusing through many big-box book sellers’ shelves, you are bound to come across a precipitous amount of self-help guides and list-it journals. You might find some on weight loss or dealing with spouses, but more so than not, you will definitely come across books regarding the most elusive and sought after human condition – happiness.

To be honest with you, I haven’t really read many self-help guides in the past, but recently I came across Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project. In fact, I’m not sure I would personally classify it as self-help, rather as a guidebook or an adventure book for a personal journey. The idea behind the “happiness project” is that it is an approach to changing your life. Gretchen plainly states that the journey you read about in The Happiness Project is not yours, it is solely hers. Through the pages, she shares her experiences; her desires for happiness; and her way of making the entire project come full circle. She only shares them with the reader in hopes those reading will create their own “happiness projects” and truly find the answer to the age old question – What makes you happy?

Start Your Own Happiness Project:

So, the question, I know you’ve all been dying to ask – How do I start my own Happiness Project? – has a fairly simple answer. While not going quite the lengths as Gretchen did when she first began her trek (well, you can if you want – start with the ancient Greek philosophers – they were some of the first to define happiness), you can simply list out all the things that make you happy. Go ahead, just jot them down. I’ll wait.

#1:  Write Down Your Twelve Commandments:

Do you have your list? Great! Now, take those list items and think about how to make them into what Gretchen calls her Twelve Commandments. These will guide you and help keep you on your path to happiness. Here are Gretchen’s:

1. Be Gretchen.
2. Let it go.
3. Act the way I want to feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out.
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation
12. There is only love.

Now, I know these may seem vague, but to Gretchen they meant everything. Your commandments may not mean much to anyone else reading them either, but you will know what is meant by them. Also, if you read The Happiness Project (which I hope you do) you will get a little more insight into how her commandments shaped her life. Plus, having these commandments listed will help you to your final goal – realizing what makes you happy and capitalizing on it.

#2 Write Down the Changes You Want to See:

Now, when Gretchen began her project she didn’t try to make extraordinary changes; in fact, she made simple changes.. She wanted to be able to stick with the things she knew that made her happy, no matter how small they were. Her twelve over-riding goals (for the calendar year) fell into the following categories:

1. Vitality
2. Marriage
3. Work
4. Parenthood
5. Leisure
6. Friendship
7. Money
8. Eternity
9. Books
10. Mindfulness
11. Attitude
12. Happiness

Within each of these goal categories, she listed the means to reach each goal. For instance, for January’s goal of Vitality, Gretchen worked hard to go to sleep earlier, exercise better, organize clutter, tackle a nagging task and even act more energetic. By completing and dutifully continuing these smaller tasks, she was able to restore vitality (one of her happiness needs) in her life.

By December, not only had Gretchen continued most of her tasks (as much as she possibly could and by no means perfect), she was faithfully fulfilling her “happiness project.”

Excerpt:

“For eleven months, I’d been piling on the resolution, and for this last month of December, I wanted to try Boot Camp Perfect. I would follow all of my resolutions, all the time. I would aim to see nothing but gold stars glittering on my Resolutions Chart. This goal of perfection was daunting, because following my resolutions took a huge amount of mental discipline and self-control – not to mention, it took a lot of time…

Did I have even one single perfect day during December? Nope. But I kept trying. One helpful consequence of my happiness project was that even when I had a bad day, it was a good bad day.”

Join Us Dandelion Moms!

So, Dandelion Moms, I challenge each and every one of you to create your own “happiness project” beginning in the month of May. I’m hoping to share my journey, as well as my triumphs and struggles with you all over the coming year. I’d like to see how we can glean from each other and help create a special happiness project for Dandelion Moms where we can lift each other up on difficult days and cheer each other on during days of gladness.

If you need additional help getting your project started, Gretchen offers a variety of resources on her Happiness Project Toolbox Web site. I highly recommend you visit it. Don’t forget to share your progress with all our Moms here through comments, Twitter or Facebook posts. Come on, let’s get happy!

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Gretchen Rubin is one of the most thought-provoking and influential writers on happiness. Her books Happier at Home and The Happiness Project were both instant New York Times bestsellers, and  The Happiness Project has spent more than two years on the bestseller list.

Photo courtesy of Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/47519011@N02/8322521459/sizes/z/in/photostream/