Musings :: Reconnecting with the Child Within

My husband and I have wanted to find a team sport that our daughter could play so she could learn about team camaraderie. We were fortunate to get on a soccer team for girls seven and under and she had her first practice and game this past week. My husband was quite the athlete and enjoyed playing sports throughout his childhood and into college so his competitive drive is pretty prevalent in any type of competition. His college buddies play a yearly golf tournament that they all go into like they are competing in The Masters. Our daughter has this same fierce competitive drive and has been known to break down in tears if she loses at Old Maid or Go Fish! We tend to let her win because we don’t like to see her upset and crying, but I believe she is at the age now where she can start processing that everyone Wins or Loses in games and sporting events. For many years, I assumed she got this fierce competitive drive from her father – that is until yesterday.

Yesterday, at her first soccer game, she played about as good as you would expect a little seven year old playing her first game after only one practice. What was surprising was the competitiveness that came out of me. I was telling my husband late last night that in my work, there is really no competition as I work for myself and don’t have another company or sales person I am “competing” against – and this has been so for many years now. But what came out of me while watching my daughter play on the field was a reawakening of the child who was so competitive in soccer (I played for over 10 years) that I would find the toughest girl on the opposing side and let her know who was the tougher of the two of us. Sounds rough, I know, but I had this drive that was so strong to win, that I can clearly remember during swim meets as a child seeing the swimmer next to me a few strokes ahead and thinking to myself I had to do whatever it took to beat her. As we get older, I think we tend to believe we are who we are and rarely surprise ourselves. But surprising oneself is good for the soul! It was a breath of fresh air really to remember that little kid who was so determined.

While watching my daughter play soccer, it felt like I was on the field with her, because I was probably more nervous than she was. I had remind myself that this was her opportunity to learn a new sport and she may or may not take to it the way I did. And that is okay. She is who she is and will find a sport that best fits her personality. But, I am grateful that I was able to reconnect with the child within for the day and remember what it felt like to be on the soccer field, play as hard as I could, and be filled with excitement about whether we would win or lose.

Here are some ways to help connect with your child within and help you leave your worries behind:

Retry the things you loved doing as a kid. Such things include going to the playground, the toy aisle or a cartoon movie session. That is one of the gifts of having children – by experiencing these things with them – a new movie or toy – it helps bring wonder back into your world.

Stop obsessing over the small things. Kids are carefree! Let go of worries and see if the world around you tumbles. You’ll be surprised that it doesn’t. And maybe you’ll regain some clarity and perspective. Worrying about the small stuff really doesn’t do anything but take away your energy.

Kids are able to feel something intensely and then move on quickly from it. Try it. Feel what you feel without judging the feeling (“I shouldn’t feel this way”) so that you can move on from that feeling without holding onto it. I like this advice and am reminded of the saying about what you feel at the moment isn’t necessarily your reality. If something is bothering you – try to assess it from the outside in and then move past it if it is doing more harm than good for your spirit.

If you have kids, do the stuff they like to do. Swing with them or trick-or-treat with them. Look at the world through their eyes. Build castles and mud highways with them. Get dirty, blow bubbles, toss balls over the neighbor’s fence and fetch them back sheepishly. This is sound advice and something I try to do on a daily basis. Some days I am better able to do this and be in the moment, but the key to seeing the magic that our kids see every day, is to be present with them to enjoy what it is that they see!

To me, reconnecting with our inner child is key to seeing the world with wonder and fresh eyes. I am thankful for yesterday’s surprise and that I was able to tap into a part of who I was when I was a young girl.

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” ― Marcel Proust