Why I Joined the Clever Girls “Being Fierce” Campaign

The Clever Girls network is promoting a Being Fierce campaign that encourages women to talk about a time in their life when they found they had to step up and be fierce.  I had a chance to interview Sheila Bernus Dowd, one of the cofounders of Clever Girls, about the time she had to be fierce and strong when battling breast cancer.  She and the rest of the crew at Clever Girls recognize and celebrate these stories, and to ensure women and girls are always empowered to be Fierce, Clever Girls Collective is proud to announce The Fierce Fund, a corporate advised fund of Silicon Valley Community Foundation. In 2013, The Fierce Fund will donate $20,000 in support of nonprofit initiatives that celebrate, encourage, and elevate women and girls.

I joined this campaign because 1) I am always a big supporter of anything having to do with empowering girls and women and 2) I wanted to share about a time when I too had to step up and overcome some difficulties in my life.  You can’t really go through life without experiencing trials and tribulations but I do believe these experiences make us stronger women.

There have been a couple times in my life that I would say I was fierce!   My husband thinks that I was fierce when I hopped on a plane after college with about $300 in my pocket and headed to Japan to teach ESL with two of my sorority sisters.  Granted I didn’t have a job, but I did have a temporary place to stay – thank goodness –  but I figured it would all work out.  It did work out and I ended up staying in Japan a little over three years.   It was during that time that I cofounded a non-profit organization, Cycle Against Poverty, that helped raise money for UNICEF supported programs geared towards teaching girls and women new skills to help support themselves and their families.  We cycled across Vietnam to raise awareness about the cycle of poverty and money that would go towards UNICEF supported projects. We raised over $30,000 for these programs and it is still one of the best things I have done in my life.

But for me, one of the most difficult times for me was this past year while recovering from a weird virus that I caught last September.  I was at a writers event and I started to not feel very good pretty much the moment I sat down.  I ended up getting sick in the restroom so I called my husband to come pick me up as I didn’t feel I could drive.  Thank goodness I did that as I was basically passed out on the sidewalk at Cal State Fullerton waiting for him and was in no condition to drive. Don’t even get me started about how no one asked me if I needed help! I told him to take me to the ER as I was feeling really funky and remembered the story about a friends dad who had recently had a heart attack and was sweating and cold – which is what I was experiencing.  About 10 minutes before we made it to our hospital, I started hyperventilating, my heart started racing and couldn’t breathe.  My body seized up and I couldn’t move anything.  My poor husband is driving like a crazy man trying to get me to the ER and my poor little girl is in the back seat not understanding what was going on.  I didn’t know either, but I was praying like there was no tomorrow that I wasn’t having a heart attack and to not to take me in front of my daughter.

My husband drove up the ER and had to pick me up and run in with me while our daughter was following us.  The nurses and doctors were telling me to try to breathe normally and all I could get out was “I can’t”, so they gave me some oxygen and I was able to breathe normally. I ended up being hospitalized for four days and had about every test available conducted on me as they weren’t sure what was wrong exactly.  They just knew I was very sick and while in the emergency room my temperature spiked to 104 degrees and I was severely dehydrated and ended up getting about 10 liters of fluids and vitamins and minerals put through an IV over the course of 4 days.  The tests they conducted included chest x-rays, EKGs (my heart released a stress hormone seen in heart attacks – yikes!) a spinal tap (had to rule out meningitis), and I had to wear a heart monitor and told not to get out of bed as my potassium levels were dangerously low – which in turn could be serious for my heart.  If you have ever had a potassium IV – then you know how much  it hurts going in your vein!

This past year was one of recovery and reflection.  To this day we don’t really know what happened, but I do know in some ways I look at what happened as a gift.  Yes, a gift in that I seriously thought I was dying and when you are faced with that experience it changes you.  Most people don’t have this life altering experience until the end of their lives.  I had it in my early 40’s and it helped put things in perspective – what is important, what matters, and how I want to live my life.  And it really honed in to the fact that it is important as moms, wives and women to take care of ourselves!  This past year I was determined (and fierce) to gain back my health and promised myself I wouldn’t ever take it for granted again. Life is funny and magical and at times difficult.  But never take it for granted and enjoy the life you have and embrace those around you that you care about!  Be fierce and live the life you’ve imagined!

Here I am participating in the Traveling Blue Wig Project (my 7 year old took the picture).

Have a story of a time you were Fierce? Want to help Clever Girls Collective support women and girls to be Fierce? Visit www.clevergirlscollective.com/fiercefund to learn more about this girl-power project!

And please help select the Fierce Fund grant winner here  (www.clevergirlscollective.com/fiercefund)