Reflections :: Cultivating Kairos

 Image courtesy of Catalina Island Chamber of Commerce

My mother came from the east coast over the weekend for a short but full trip, and the next thing I knew?  We spent the weekend drenched in kairos.  We took the ferry to Catalina, and someplace offshore, in the middle of the bumping and rolling sea, living kicked in.

Kairos, according to Wiki, is an ancient Greek word meaning the right or opportune moment.  To really understand it though, we need to consider the idea of kairos next to an idea or word that describes the way we are used to experiencing life.  This word is chronos, which means time. Chronos, that awful stopwatch that keeps us ramped up and running the wheel of get things done, go go go. Side by side, the difference between kairos and chronos recalls the axiom about life being measured not by the moments of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away.

Kairos is when we experience in-moment contentedness, when all feels right because we are naturally engaged with right now.  What I would like to propose is that kairos is actually the experience of dropping in to a deeper state of awareness, of being, when we are alive to our sense of being; and that making periodic visits to this state is something we can learn to cultivate.  In fact, it is my belief that kairos-time is so essential to our well-being that learning to cultivate it is crucial to our health.

As helpful as it is to take an impromptu overnight trip like I got to do, know that kairos doesn’t require this.  What it does need, however, is an honest grasp of what brings you joy: and the simpler, the better.  Kairos didn’t happen for me this weekend because I had the chance to drop out of my chronos-style obligations.

It happened because I love the open ocean, and more than that I love the quiet of green mountains under layered stacks of fog.  I love riding bikes.  I love seeing my mom giggle.  We rode bikes into the quiet, undeveloped canyon hills, giggling, or soaking in the no-sound.  Every moment expanded my sense of vitality.   The sea air on my skin made me breathe deeper and wider, my breath brought me more and more in to the present moment.  Those moments strung together until hours of kairos enveloped us.  When the bikes went back and we were both glowing and buzzing, I suggested tacos–a food I resolutely love.  We thought of a spot we’d noticed on our bike ride and walked the half mile or so to return there.  When we arrived it was a few minutes past 2, $1 tacos had just started!  This is the kind of serendipity, meaning pleasant surprise, that can and often happens when we stop planning, stop running on chronos, and allow life to take the lead.

I carve out time for kairos several times a week.  I believe health is a well-rounded, embodied experience that begins with a happy heart.  I love walking the beach and hearing the waves.  A good cup of tea with an enjoyable book makes my heart feel so sweet.  I love fifteen minutes of deep stretches with a yummy candle burning.  I love a dark chocolate bar and laughing at a silly sitcom.  I love starting my mornings, when I’ve been feeling particularly dry or starched or stressed, dancing around my little kitchen to music that makes me sing out loud. Each of these practices I seek to actively incorporate into my week.  They are small, heavenly acts that make me feel at one with my life.

They are kairos, when tick tick time stops and deep moments begin.  Whenever we feel half-alive, kairos is the remedy.  Get curious, active in your exploration of what kairos means to you.  Learn and stay curious, practice until its natural.  It’s your right to feel alive to your own life, and knowing and living this is also one of the best things you could ever help to teach your kids.