Inspirational Mom :: Sheila Bernus Dowd of Clever Girls

I heard about Clever Girls last year when I entered the world of mom blogging which really was a whole new world for me to learn about.  This past  year I have been visiting their site and enjoying the information they provide for mom bloggers.  Clever Girls is a social media agency offering content marketing and native advertising at scale and had over 70 Million unique visitors last month!  Wow!  I love how this company was created by a group of women providing other moms a way to help run their own blogging business.  This past month I learned about the journey of Sheila Bernus Dowd, one of the cofounders of Clever Girls, journey with breast cancer.  Since October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and many women find even the idea of battling this disease frightening, I wanted to showcase an inspirational mom who is not only beating breast cancer, but is encouraging women to talk about a time in their life when they had to Be Fierce and overcome adversity with their “Being Fierce blue wig campaign.  The Fierce Fund, a corporate advised fund of Silicon Valley Community Foundation will donate  $20,000 in support of nonprofit initiatives that celebrate, encourage, and elevate women and girls. Read on to see what this inspirational mom has to say about her journey as a breast cancer survivor.

Tell us how you got involved with Clever Girls and what was the inspiration behind starting this community?

In the early 2000’s I had a small blog Xiaolin Mama, where I wrote about raising kids in Silicon Valley. I was fortunate to meet Stefania Pomponi, Cat Lincoln and Kristy Sammis during that time, who blew me away with their writing.  Brands were just starting to wrap their head around working with bloggers and new media.  We quickly figured out that brands needed our help and that of our favorite bloggers…and the rest is history. Clever Girls is now a network of 7000 social media influencers who produce content about everything under the sun and work with brands they love.

What was your initial reaction when you heard you had breast cancer?  How did you move past the fear surrounding this diagnosis?

Like most women who have had breast cancer, I had no family history, so it was unexpected.  It felt like a train ran over me.  I had a meeting to go to, a business to run and soccer pick up- I definitely didn’t have time for cancer – LOL! I read everything I could and spoke to others who were breast cancer survivors to makes sense of it all.  It makes no sense, but you do your best and take one day at a time.

What would you say to a woman who just found out she has breast cancer?  What steps did you take that helped you during your journey of fighting breast cancer?

Well I have unfortunately had a few friends who have been diagnosed since I’ve had it and to them, I’ve said the same thing, “This YOUR body, you get to decide what you do – chemo, drugs, masectomy or none of it at all.  You get to choose – not the doctors or family/friends.  Do what feels right, so that at the end you know that you did everything you could or wanted. Also CANCER is a scary word – no doubt.  But do what you can to understand your actual diagnosis  – there are many types of cancer and many are treatable. Having cancer is not an automatic death sentence.”   I went to a support group at the Breast Cancer Center in Palo Alto – listening to other women’s stories was healing for me.  I also tried homepathic and alternative remedies (acupuncture and massage), while not covered by insurance it sure helped with nausea from chemotherapy.

Most importantly, I told my entire IRL (in real life) and many of my online community about having breast cancer.  I know many would never dream of this, but for me it allowed to not have to “explain” or hide.  My community responded with power – meals, cards, visits and emails. I never felt alone. My community made all the difference.

How did you help your family cope with the diagnosis as well?

My children were 9 and 12 when I was in the midst of battling cancer. After I got my head straight about what I was dealing with, we had an honest sit down conversation about what this all meant.  I was sure that I wasn’t dying, so it made it easier to to be able to reassure them that while it would be ugly for a bit, all would be fine.  Bald is beautiful! Right? I love fake hair, so it was all an excuse to get a fabulous wig.  I have always been a fighter and this would be no different.

They took it pretty well, but each in their own way.  My younger one wanted to talk and ask questions about it all the time.  My tween was more reserved, but made me cards and stopped arguing about taking out the trash (Who said cancer doesn’t have benefits?)  We all processed this differently, I just did what I could to create the space for their fears, anger, compassion and love.

Not keeping it a secret from my community, gave people permission for teachers, coaches, friends and neighbors to keep an extra “eye” on my kids and husband.  Meals helped tremendously, invites to play dates/parties kept them all busy and gave me time to rest.

Any news you want to share with our dandelion moms?

Every woman has a story of strength. To recognize and celebrate these stories, and to ensure women and girls are always empowered to be Fierce, Clever Girls Collective is proud to announce The Fierce Fund, a corporate advised fund of Silicon Valley Community Foundation.

In 2013, The Fierce Fund will donate $20,000 in support of nonprofit initiatives that celebrate, encourage, and elevate women and girls.

Adversity comes in all shapes and sizes, and our stories of strength do, too. Being Fierce is having the courage to try a new career, drive across the country, travel somewhere you’ve never been; standing up to a bully, calling out hate speech, voting; being strong for your kids, being there for your friends, being active in your community. Being Fierce can mean going back to school after a couple decades away, it could mean putting on a bathing suit at the public beach. Or being Fierce could mean going through cancer treatments and choosing to rock a blue wig in stride.

We all have our moments of being Fierce, and we’re collecting inspiring stories who will be receiving blue wigs and sharing their stories of “Being Fierce” in blog posts and various social media channels. We’re thrilled that we can do this and hope you all will join us in celebrating the Fierce in all of us. Be sure to stay up-to-date with the #FierceFund by following the hashtag across Twitter and Facebook.

Wonderful!  Thank you Sheila for sharing your journey with us!  Continue to Be Fierce!