Parenting: Are You a Dream-Stealer?

“Dreams are illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you.” ~Marsha Norman

Are you a dream-stealer? Do we as parents put limitations on our kids because of our insecurities, self-doubt and other related issues we had when we were growing up? Do we start to allow the negativity from ignorant thoughts of others to creep into our minds and put a fence around our abilities as parents?

Surround Yourself with Positive Role Models:

A very powerful leader and role-model said to me recently, if you want better things for yourself and to be a better person, surround yourself with others who you believe are better (at something) than you.

I think as parents, we should be that core for our kids; we should be the first layer of strength and belief for them. Let’s take a trip back to school real quick to prove to you there is real science behind what I am saying.

The Pygmalion Effect:

According to Terence R. Mitchell and Denise Daniels: Motivation Handbook of Psychology, volume 12; the Pygmalion effect, or Rosenthal effect, is “the phenomenon in which the greater the expectation placed upon people, the better they perform…The opposite of the Pygmalion effect is the Golem Effect, in which low expectations lead to a decrease in performance”.

This phenomenon was taken a step further and put into action in a classroom where it was found “if teachers were led to expect enhanced performance from some children, then the children did indeed show that enhancement.” Rosenthal, Robert; Jacobson, Lenore; Pygmalion in the Classroom

Or put it another way in the book, The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Anchor, “the Pygmalion Effect is when our belief in another person’s potential brings that potential to life”.

From a Parent’s Perspective:

In my personal experiences as a teacher and with my son, who has Down Syndrome I have seen the positive and negative sides of this phenomenon. It typically boils down to a label. One simple little word, that tips the scale one way or the other. Kind of silly when you think about it, isn’t it? A child’s abilities are summed up on a piece of paper with one little word; a diagnosis, or as I call it, a label.

So I ask the question again, are you a dream-stealer? Or are you the solid core of strength and unwavering belief your kids have learned they can count on?