Musings :: Making Memories Our Kids Will Treasure

 

 

Trips to the beach are a frequent family outing.

 

Last night I was reminded how all that our kids really want (or need) is our time.  Yes, our undivided time without interruptions – from other people, pets, gadgets, the phone, etc., etc.  All those things that pull at us and are easy to get wrapped up into and take away our attention and focus from the here and now.  I am at fault with this as anyone.  It takes several mental reminders throughout the day to be in the moment.  I constantly feel like I am being pulled in a million different directions throughout the day and I think other parents feel the same from time to time. But last night, my daughter reminded me that all our kids want is for us to be present. Like really present and not the uh-huh responses we give when we aren’t really listening. (I can’t be the only parent doing this).

 

After dinner last night we headed upstairs to play a little game we’ve been playing since she was little.  It is really nothing special, just a silly game of me trying to grab at her ankles (I always miss somehow) while she jumps over me on the bed.  She loves it because she gets jump on the bed and by the end we are both laughing and giggling like two little kids.  After about 15 minutes of this game she wasn’t quite ready to end this mommy time so we cuddled and I started asking her some questions like what is her favorite food, favorite ride at Disneyland and favorite sport.  I must have asked her over 50 questions and some of the answers surprised me.  Like when I asked her what her favorite show is I was surprised to hear she loves Adventure Time more than any others.

 

 

I wasn’t too surprised to hear that her favorite memory with just her and her dad is a recent Indian Princess trip to Catalina she took a few weeks back with her troop.  But when I asked her what her favorite memory is of us two together I had visions of one of our many trips to Disneyland together, or of a trip to the water park or even a mommy-daughter movie trip.  But no, these “spectacular” trips weren’t at the forefront of her mind. She said (in about the cutest voice around) that her favorite memory with me… was the game we just played.  What?! (echoed through my mind). I can’t even remember the name of the game because it seems to change each time. I think this time we called it Huff and Puff.   What?! A game that doesn’t even have a name and we don’t play very often.  Not one of those fantastic trips to Disneyland?  Or Knott’s Berry Farm? Or a recent movie and popcorn outing?

 

 

Her response got me thinking about what she really wants – and that is just my undivided time and attention.  And all those fantastic trips or events that we think they will treasure into their adulthood maybe aren’t the only ones they will hold dear.  If you think about what childhood memories you hold close, they probably were of an emotion or feeling surrounding a simple event or conversation.  Some of my favorite memories are of my mother showing me how to pick out fruits and vegetables at the grocery story.  Or of my dad making a huge pot of his homemade spaghetti and meatballs for my cheerleading team.  These were just simple day-to-day happenings but ones I hold most dear.

 

I think as parents we are always striving to do the best by our kids and can get caught up with doing things with and for them.  The lesson my daughter taught me is that she enjoys just spending quality time together and that it doesn’t really matter what it is so much as how this time is spent together.  Am I distracted or is my attention on her?  I was reminded by my eight year old that what she really values is my undivided attention – no matter what we are doing. And that is what I will strive to do more of as her mom.

 

What are some of your child’s favorite memories?

 

Here are some of the questions I asked (tonight she gets to ask me).

What is your favorite color?

Favorite meal?

Favorite sport?

Who is your favorite friend at school?

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Favorite Movie?

Favorite Disney Movie?

Favorite Disney character?

Favorite Disneyland Ride?

Favorite fruit?

Favorite vegetable?

Favorite Birthday Party?

Favorite memory with dad?

Favorite memory with mom?

Favorite memory with grandparents?

Favorite family trip?

Favorite type of animal?

Favorite type of wild animal (hers is a snake – yikes!)

Favorite thing to wear?

Favorite book?

Favorite superhero?

 

 

And on and on.  You might find some of the answers might surprise you!

 

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