4 Important Tips for Enjoying the Holidays

The holidays can be loaded, it’s true.  It’s that potentially chaotic time of doing the make-sure-everything-looks-good-and-gets-done rounds.  Pile the added traveling/visiting/gift-giving responsibilities on top of the guarantee of nostalgia, and it’s no wonder some people wish they could skip December.  If that isn’t you, horaay!  The following will only enhance your already special time.  Here are tips for enjoying the holidays without bankrupting your peace and happiness.

Embrace Nostalgia. The holidays bring memories, it is unavoidable.  But you are the writer of your own story.  If holiday nostalgia has traditionally been a struggle, you have permission to rewrite.  Start new traditions.  If you never had a real tree and always wanted one, get it.  If you’ve never gotten to just stay in on Christmas Eve and wish you could, do it. If the one thing that would make you feel great is to have your sisters over with all their kids to watch Charlie Brown’s Christmas, then cancel plans this Saturday and get the popcorn out.  Or rewrite by getting out of your self.  Volunteer at a soup kitchen, start a clothing drive, cook dinner for the neighbor that has never once come outside.  Share the joys of selfless giving with your children, make a tradition that makes you all feel genuinely proud.

Practice Self-Care.  This is a non-negotiable.  The thing about stress is that once we are experiencing it, we tend to not want to admit it.  We hesitate to acknowledge that we are stressed out because we secretly believe that means we aren’t doing good enough.  Stop.  Breathe.  Be honest with yourself, especially if you are feeling tired or over-burdened.  Say NO.  Prioritize.  Unlike what was heard when we were raised, there is no one keeping check on you, judging whether you’ve been naughty or nice.  Slow down.  If it doesn’t get done no one will suffer.  In fact, the only one suffering usually is the over-stressed mom running around in a holiday frenzy trying to adhere to standards that, if she chooses, she is able to rewrite.

Be Grateful. Not because everyone on Facebook said so.  There is an inverse equation when it comes to your attitude.  It’s like a pair of glasses you see through that once on, help you to see you differently, too. If you decide to put on your grateful glasses, it somehow shoots right back in your direction and doubles itself, the same way a smile is contagious.  This isn’t the fakey, look-good perfect-haircut perfect-clothes gratitude. I am talking about your children asleep and you in the doorway watching them feeling of all-is-right with the world.  That’s the real, heart-activated gratitude that I want you to Seize!  Seize the wonder of the Christmas tree glow at the end of the long day.  Even if it’s just a moment, grab hold, live in that experience, really allow yourself to soften into your own large moment of THANKS.  Close your eyes right now and bring to mind a similar scenario.  That feeling, that’s true gratitude.  It’s a humbling feeling, one that recognizes how very small we each are in the face of a grand and mysterious experience of living from day to day.    Embody that feeling as often as you can. Live it.  Choose to live it, not by faking how you really feel, but by honoring your whole experience with truth and compassion and the occasional pause.  Taking pause through out the day is the key to honoring how you are, and this momentary honoring reconnects us to the magic of being alive.  Some stranger’s own light, perhaps long gone-out, could well turn on for just a moment because your feelings of thankfulness caused you to take an extra moment to hold open the convenient store door.

Practice Human Kindness.  Without telling anyone you are doing so, give yourself the gift of an attitude adjustment this season.  Slow down, be kind.  Say thank you, excuse me, please.  Say these things as much as you can, especially to people wearing frowns.  Smile, look people in the eye, laugh as much as you can.  Look for extra reasons to laugh.  Laugh at yourself!  Keep a tab going on how many times you could make yourself laugh by loosening up and being easy on you.  Play a game and see that smiles really are contagious:  keep a count of how many times a smile at someone causes them to instantly smile back.  Don’t take yourself so seriously, and then give other people the same gift.  Tell them thanks, tell them it’s ok, tell them you’re grateful to be in their life. Tell yourself the same thing. Spend the season giving yourself this gift, because attitude is inverse.  The more we give these gifts of kindness and love away, not because we have to but because it just feels good, (and why would we possibly ever waste a living moment on anything other if we get to choose??)  well then the more those gifts come back to us from within.

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