It’s No “Wonder” Why We #ChooseKind

We are so excited as a family to see “Wonder” coming to the big screen this November. My daughter read the book last year and fell in love with it and connected as well with it. She talked about “Wonder” from the time she started until she put it down – and it’s continued on. She even commented on several occasions that they should: “make it a movie”. And voila! Now it’s come to fruition.

I’m writing this as a prod to go and see it when it comes out; although before that happens I highly recommend if you haven’t (or even if you have) to read the book [or re-read] first. The movie is even encouraging you to become part of their summer reading Wonder Book Club. I am thrilled with that, as is my girl. So, summer reading anyone? With your kids … win-win!

When she started reading the book, she opened up to me on a few things. Some things that I suspected, yet, when I asked – she didn’t say much. I think the book allowed her to feel … those emotions and be able to express herself. I know the book is bringing to light Craniofacial abnormalities/disorders (thank you), however, I also think the book, “Wonder”, is creating a dialogue for kids and families to approach situations of/in all colors and areas where you [may] find yourself in situations that are different.

My daughter says she understands “Via” and the struggle. That inner struggle. The thoughts, the questions, the ‘everything’. As most of you know, my son – her brother, has various medical diagnosis and is also on the spectrum. He ‘looks’ normal – until he removes his shirt (as he says quietly and head down) and yet to his peers he ‘acts different‘ and isn’t ‘like them‘ and all sorts of exclusion or ways that he has been left out. We’ve gone through the years of him having been bullied and had the moments of where I witnessed other children take their thumb and pointer finger and make the “L” and place over their forehead – to him (them not realizing I saw this) and it wasn’t just ONE child and it was this scenario that was back-to-back involving four to five kids one evening at the beginning of school one year (2nd grade) for a classmate’s birthday party. He was never invited again; although the rest of the kids in class were. Not to her birthday party the years that have followed (even though in the same class each year) or to any of the other kids’ parties the rest of that year, and again, all the years that have followed.

As a parent: it breaks your heart.

My daughter’s friends on the other hand have been much more open and accepting with him. When she is invited to a party; they also invite him. These classmates and friends have gotten to know my son through his sister and because he’s at her parties, or when she has sleepovers or playdates. So, they’ve grown up around him – with her, in a way. Of course, as she’s getting older, sometimes there’s that inner-struggle of her just wanting to go – alone. I get that. We’ve had the conversations. All three of us. It’s our life … we live it … each and every day. One we do our best to navigate and balance. It just amazes me though that children that do not know my son [spend time with him on a day-to-day basis] treat him so much better than the peers he has grown up with. These kids that are a year younger have chosen to be kind/kindness. They’ve chosen to get to know him. To see him. To laugh with him [not at him]. To include him … whether games or just ‘hanging out’ at our house with my daughter. They don’t shut him out and expect him to stay away/in his room. It’s wonderful and eye opening. My daughter has some amazing friends! Pssst she’s pretty amazing herself. As is my son. Mom pat/brag – I’ll take it. I need it … sometimes.

That’s the whole point; of the movie and basically in life. The quote that RJ Palacio used from/based on Wayne Dyer is the driving force {“When given the choice between being right, or being kind, choose kind.“}. It’s one we should all be living daily, in my opinion. It’s what I teach my kids and how I conduct myself. I expect them to act and be accordingly. As the old saying goes: “treat others as you want to be treated”. How simple, poignant and true. We all want to be accepted … for who we are. Just as we are. Not by our looks or the clothes we wear. What really makes us: “us”.

Kids learn from their parents and I’ve always said that. I’ve told my kids that. My daughter likes to quote me on that [lol] and, it’s true. So much of ‘you’ is learned behavior. Sometimes you grow up in situations and decide to be just the opposite [speaking from experience here] but it’s those times and those situations that had a cause and an effect and became your learned behavior. When children are cruel, I immediately think about their home life. Their situation. I tell my kids to show them kindness and not to be the same way back. Treat them as you want to be. Be a friend. Find a common ground. What do you like about them? There’s always something – something you may admire or that they do well. Focus on that and not the negativity of the encounter, especially if the first. That maybe, just maybe, they need a friend too. It’s not always that easy or that black and white as there is a lot of grey floating around in there as well. Sometimes you just hope with all the hope you have – that the encounter they have with you or your kids impacts them (in a positive way) and to perhaps change or turn that rhetoric around.

My glass stays half full. Always. I #ChooseKind. I hope you do and will as well.

Follow “Wonder the Movie” on Twitter and Facebook
Follow RJ Palacio on Twitter and Facebook
Follow Lionsgate Films on Twitter and Facebook
Wonder Book Club Readings
Children’s Craniofacial Abnormalities (CCA)
World CF

#TheWonderofWonder
#ChooseKind
#WonderTheMovie
#ShareWonder
@WonderTheMovie

And also remember:

*This is written as a POV from me/my kids and the experience of reading the book. This is not about the actors portraying the characters in the upcoming film adaptation. I realize that there are POVs on both sides regarding not having an actor with Treacher’s or a facial abnormality/disorder playing the role of Auggie (Justin Tremblay) or a Latino playing his mom (Julia Roberts) – I’m not reviewing the movie or the actors or taking a stand in either way regarding these topics. This is just a short post about “why we as a family want to see the movie and how the book touched my daughter and made a connection with her – personally”. I have not been asked to write about “Wonder” the book or the upcoming release of “Wonder the Movie”.*